Red Flags vs Green Flags
Why it matters? What you should look out for?
In life we make decisions based on many factors. Some of us may speak with our friends for their opinions, discuss with our mentor on how to remove obstacle or simply let it be and see what happens. In the end we always use our own life experience to make decisions and they influence greatly on how we behave, respond to others and used in self-reflections.
“Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained.” ~Lao Tzu
Imagine meeting a new person in your life. The spark is mind-boggling, the sky is blue against crystal clear water and he or she says everything you wanna hear. Suddenly they do or say something that go against what you believe. Issues keep popping up and you struggle whether to pursue with this relationship or not. It’s completely normal and an expected behavior in any new or old relationship.
Red flags
The most common sign is when red flags starting appearing everywhere. People are with flaws and no one is perfect. Once someone gets comfortable being with someone they slowly come out and letting them in and in that process you get to see the real person. Not the sweet talking , rose bearing and romantic guy.
But the one who lies on the couch watching tv, the one who never put up the toilet seat before peeing, the one who never take out the trash or wash up the dishes. These are all real examples and something this can drive the other person crazy.
You use all this information and contrast it with your experience and then may decide if this is the type of person you want to share the rest of your life with.
You can make whatever decision you want and I will not dictate that. All I am saying is observing the red flags are important but it’s not enough.
The severest red flag of all is when its toxic, abusive physically or mentally and someone who does not respect you. Get the hell out!
Green Flags
During a class at the University of Warwick a professor asked the entire class to list something negative and the answers started pouring in from every corner. He stopped us on our tracks and asked us to shout of some positive. The whole class went silence. I am not sure whether it’s our upbringing or the world block us from seeing the good around us, let alone say it out loud.
No matter the situation or people we meet in our life there’s always something good lurking around. We have to take a step back and search for them and use them when making life-changing decisions. Of course, this is not always clear-cut. People can still be an ass and be dishonest. Let them be. Let them go and you move on to something greener.
Importantly don’t let your past negative experience blocks you from seeing the goodness in people and around us. The green flags will keep popping up and you have to diminish your scruple to see them.
Weigh the red and green in.
“The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.” Dalai Lama
All is well.
